Apprehend the Promise

I have struggled with significant tailbone pain since around October 2023, when I was 7 months pregnant with Elliott. I thought that it would all resolve after I delivered my precious 9lb 2oz baby, but months came and went and I was still struggling to sit for longer than 20 minutes at a time. It had been nearly 17 months now. I sought frequent chiropractic care, had received a pain management consult, was incorporating strength training, and eventually began seeing a pelvic floor therapist. I had rallied my friends and family and we all were praying for healing. Despite everything, the pain lingered.

A turning point came when my sister called me abruptly. She quickly said, “Check your tailbone!” She had been listening to a sermon by Bill Johnson, who had a word of knowledge specifically for healing of a tailbone injured during pregnancy and labor. Courtney said she immediately began weeping as the Lord told her to call me. On the phone together, I pressed around my tailbone, and I wasn’t feeling any pain! She declared healing over my body with so much faith, but said to keep her posted on how I was doing. My final physical therapy appointment was still on the calendar for 4 days later. I wrestled with whether to cancel but I decided to keep it because I didn’t hear the Lord say to cancel. As I prayed, I kept coming back to one heart cry: “Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief.”

The next day at church, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “Finish the work You started.” I then felt what seemed like a drip of liquid running down my tailbone. It knew it wasn’t sweat—I wasn’t hot, it was 22 degrees outside! The Holy Spirit immediately reminded me of a moment, about two months prior, when a woman prayed for me at church. She said she had a vision of oil running down my back and believed God was healing me (not even knowing I was believing for healing in my tailbone). I sat through that entire church service, something I couldn’t normally do without experiencing 8-9/10 pain. I felt no pain—just an awareness of my tailbone. Every time I would think about my tailbone and feel no pain, I would declare, “Thank you, Jesus, for healing me. Finish the work you started.” The day before my physical therapy appointment, I felt the Holy Spirit urge me to go take Communion. As I sat before the Lord meditating on his blood and his body that was shed for me, I felt as if Jesus was so tenderly cupping my face with his hands and looking me in the eyes. I heard with such boldness and assurance from his lips—“IT IS FINISHED.” And I received it.

Even before Courtney had called me, for weeks, God had me camped out in Acts 3 and 4. In these chapters, the disciples healed a man, in Jesus name, who had been lame for 40 years. The Spirit gave me a picture of Jesus sitting on His throne in joyous laughter (just like Psalms 2) because He had seen this man’s healing moment long before the man was even paralyzed. Jesus wasn’t shaken by the 40 years of pain and lameness. What seemed like delay was actually Divine. The timing of this mans healing brought salvation to many! Jesus had complete assurance, hope, and peace for the day of healing that was already written in His book. In the days leading up to my appointment, the more I mediated on these passages, the more Jesus showed this man’s healing wasn’t just for him; it was a testimony that inspired faith and led others to salvation. I felt God whisper so lovingly, “This healing isn’t just about you, it’s beyond that.” What if His timing, His seeming ‘delay’, was actually to bring salvation to my physical therapist?

When I got to my appointment, I was still nervous. I kept thinking, “What if I believe I’m healed, and then she presses on my tailbone, and it hurts?” But I felt the Lord urging me to take a step of faith and declare that I was healed before it was tested. So, I walked in and told my therapist, “I know this might sound crazy, but I feel great. I believe Jesus healed me, and I want you to test it.” She started pressing on my tailbone in the places that would normally hurt, and I felt nothing. No pain. I began weeping and thanking Jesus for healing me!

She could tell something powerful was happening, so I shared the backstory. I told her how God had been working in my heart and preparing this moment. Then I looked her in the eyes and said, “I don't think this healing moment is as much for me as it is for YOU. I think that Jesus is pursuing you hard. He loves you so much and he wants you to KNOW how much he loves you and he sees you. That this moment actually wasn't for me, but it took over a year of pain and us crossing paths…that He did this for YOU, like this moment— it’s for YOU!” I was so overwhelmed by the relentless love of Jesus I felt as I sensed His longing for her heart. It was revelation of His love for humanity that I’m not sure I’ve ever sensed so deeply and tangibly. I prayed my words would convey even a fraction of the unconditional love and longing I felt Jesus had for her. She started crying too. That’s when she opened up and told me she had been feeling God tugging on her over the past week. I was able to sit with her for the remainder of my appointment, sharing the Gospel and the freedom and deliverance Jesus has brought to my own life. Right there in the office, we prayed together, and she gave her life to Jesus!! In her words, this day was Divine. I couldn’t agree more!

Oh to God be all the glory, honor, and praise!! Glorify your Son, Jesus! I weep at the thought of His kindness and love towards us. He is just too good. What is man that He is mindful of us? He sees us, right where we are at—and He meets us there. Such kindness in His eyes.

This next part of the story I share with such humility because you have to understand that only the Holy Spirit can author boldness in our hearts to step out in the faith and authority of Jesus Christ. It is only by hearing other believers’ testimonies of radical faith, people like Todd White, that fills me with a hunger to see more of God’s power displayed in our everyday lives. Your Kingdom Come, Lord!

Before the appointment, God had given me this wild picture of a packed waiting room. I saw myself walking out of my appointment, completely healed, and offering to pray for anyone who needed it! It felt crazy and wild, but I couldn’t shake it. The Holy Spirit had filled me with such hope for what Jesus was going to do that day—hope that I would actually be healed and that it would bring boldness, salvation, signs and wonders to all who would believe! (Acts 4:29-31)

When I walked out of the office, the waiting room was full—just like in the vision. My heart started racing. After what had just miraculously taken place in my appointment I knew what I had to do. Acts 4:19 says, “We cannot stop telling about everything we have seen and heard.” I took a deep breath and said, “I know this might sound crazy, but Jesus just healed my tailbone. If anyone here has pain, I’d love to pray for you.” I fully expected everyone to tuck their heads down and pretend like they hadn’t heard me say a thing! To my surprise, people responded. A woman named Maria came forward with back and hip pain for many years. As we prayed, you could sense the Holy Spirit was touching her heart as she began to weep. Afterwards, I asked her to stand and test it out, she declared—her pain was gone! Others asked for prayer, too, and I prayed for each one. Even the receptionists were engaged, kind, and receptive to what God was doing. The Holy Spirit tangibly filled that room.

On January 22, 2025, I wrote in my journal: Wow, today Jesus healed my tailbone.

——

For the whole next week, I had zero pain. But then, suddenly, I started feeling it again. My heart became so discouraged and angry. Weeping with grief, I wrote in my journal: “Lord, if I’m being honest, it feels like you are playing games with me. Don’t let me lose hope in Your goodness. Don’t let me be swallowed up in disappointment. I need You to break through. I hang on to every word You speak.” Because I had heard Him say—It is finished. And I had experienced it. Why would He let that day and week be so miraculous if he was going to change his mind? I couldn’t deny what had happened to me. Why would the pain return? Why does it feel like He went back on the words He had spoken to me?

During that time of frustration and honesty with God, He led me to Ezekiel and Jeremiah.

Ezekiel 2:8 says: Son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do not join them in their rebellion. Open your mouth and eat what I give you….then Ezekiel 3 says “Son of man, eat what I am giving you—eat this scroll!”

That hit me.

Two years ago, I had written in my journal something the Lord had spoken to me: A Scroll Revival is coming. I had no idea what it meant at the time, but when I read that verse, the Holy Spirit immediately reminded me of it. And I felt like He was revealing it again for this season—We are going to have to eat the words He gives us. Eat the scroll. And then prophesy back to Him what He has already spoken, in full faith, that what He says will be done. Not just scripture (Logos—Word of God), but also the rhema words He has spoken to us personally.

And then He led me to Jeremiah 15…

Jeremiah 15:16-20: “When I discovered your words, I devoured them. They are my joy and my heart’s delight… But why does my suffering continue? Why is my wound so incurable? Your help seems as uncertain as a seasonal brook, like a spring that has gone dry.”

BUT…

“This is how the Lord responds: If you return to me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve me… If you speak good words rather than worthless ones, you will be my spokesman. You must influence them; do not let them influence you (*the voices in my head, the Accuser)… They will fight against you like an attacking army, but I will make you as secure as a fortified wall of bronze. They will not conquer you, for I am with you to protect and rescue you. I, the Lord, have spoken.”

Jeremiah 15 reminded me of how, in the wilderness, when Jesus was tempted, Satan used scripture against him. I realized that was what was happening to me—I was believing my pain had returned because it was from God, that my suffering was His doing. But when I read the Lords response, it shifted everything. I realized my mindset needed to be fixed on the Lord and what HE had spoken. This pain wasn’t from God—it was an attack of the enemy. I was supposed to walk in obedience and faithfulness to his word, standing firm in my authority as a daughter of God, pushing back the enemy until I saw the promise fulfilled. My whole perspective changed.

The day before my appointment—when I had no pain—I heard the Lord say “settled assurance.” He gave me this vision of tiny pebbles coming together, forming an unshakable rock bed. And he showed me that my history with Him, remembering his faithfulness throughout every other season of my life, would be the foundation for this miracle. That’s what I was supposed to stand on.

For over 2 years, I’ve been drawn back to Hebrews 4 and the mystery of God’s rest. It talks about the Israelites failing to enter that rest, not because they weren’t God’s people, but because of their unbelief.

Hebrews 4:1 warns us: “God’s promise of entering his rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to experience it.”

The Israelites didn’t enter the land that had been promised to them because they didn’t believe God would care for them. Psalm 106:24 says, “The people refused to enter the pleasant land, for they wouldn’t believe his promise to care for them. Instead, they grumbled in their tents and refused to obey the Lord.”

That hit me. Their unbelief led to complaining, which led to disobedience—all because they doubted God’s kindness and faithfulness towards them. It wasn’t for lack of promise, it was for lack of belief. And I realized, in my own doubt, I was doing the same thing. I was questioning God’s goodness, wondering if he was withholding his kindness to heal me. But he wasn’t.

So now, I feel like God has put a gate on my lips. When I feel pain, I refuse to call it pain. Instead, I declare HIS truth: “It is finished. It is done. His blood covers me. By His stripes, I am healed.” I believe the enemy is the one causing the sensation, and the moment I speak God’s word, the pain starts subsiding. I might have to do it 60 times a day, but I will keep contending for the promise.

It feels almost like a science experiment—like God is saying, “Test me in this. Declare my word and see what happens.” And I’ve realized there are two reasons I haven’t done this before:

1. Unbelief—deep down, I haven’t always believed in God’s goodness and kindness toward me.

2. Fear of man—I worry that if I say I’m not in pain, I’ll seem hyper-spiritual or dishonest, especially to people close to me who know about my struggles.

But God has put his foot down. He’s saying—Speak what I say. Only care about what I think. That’s where the promise is. TAKE THE LAND.

I heard something in a Bill Johnson sermon that really struck me. He quoted someone else, but I’ll attribute it to him:

When Mary received the word from the angel that she would bear the Messiah, the angel said, “Nothing is impossible with God.” But when you break that down in the original language, it means:

“No freshly spoken word (rhema) of God will ever come to you that does not contain within itself the ability to perform itself.”

Wow.

That means when God speaks something—whether through scripture or a personal rhema word—it carries the power to bring itself to fulfillment. When he told me “It is finished,” that wasn’t just encouragement or a promise from the past. That was a word I could stand on, a Word that contains the power to make itself true.

And so I will camp on that promise and declare His Word. Because He is faithful.

We can draw from Scripture and from our own history with Him—His Word is His WORD. Jesus is THE WORD (John 1). It doesn’t matter when or how it came; His Word will not fail. It is a promise, and I am so expectant for Him to fulfill it. His Kingdom will come when we recognize the authority in His Word.

John 1 highlights this so clearly:

“In the beginning, the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning. God created everything through Him, and nothing was created except through Him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and His life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.”

The power of His Word is undeniable. (Is. 55) His Word does not return void. Declare it. Stand on it. Walk in it. And you will see it. Because when He speaks, it is as good as done.

John 4 tells the story of Jesus healing an official’s son. When the official begged Jesus to come to Capernaum to heal his dying child, Jesus simply said, “Go back home. Your son will live.” The man believed what Jesus said and left. He journeyed home without immediate proof, trusting in Jesus’ word. Later, his servants met him on the way and confirmed that his son was healed at the very moment Jesus had spoken.

Verse 48 says, “Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?” It’s as if Jesus was asking, “Do you not believe my word even before you see it fulfilled?” This man had to walk by faith, trusting in the authority of Jesus’ word before witnessing the miracle. I imagine his internal struggle—the wrestling thoughts, the doubt creeping in, the temptation to turn back and demand proof. But he kept walking, believing that what Jesus spoke was as good as done. His faith held, and his household came to believe because of it.

This resonates deeply with me. I’ve been praying, “Lord, give me the faith to SEE it before I see it.” I want to live in the reality of His Kingdom, knowing that what He has spoken is more real than what I see in the natural. Give me opened spiritual eyes and ears to experience your Kingdom on this earth! Katherine Kuhlman once said that the Holy Spirit is more real and tangible than anything visible, and I believe that is a reality we are called to hunger for and walk in.

In my own journey, I prayed, “Show me healed Emily.” And He gave me a vision—I saw myself sitting next to Him on the mercy seat, His sprinkled blood touching my tailbone, and I was healed. The kindness in His eyes was overwhelming. That vision is my Kingdom reality—Ephesians 2:6 gives me permission to live my life from the literal reality that I am seated, with Christ, in Heaven. When I feel pain, I meditate on that image and declare, “It is finished.” And in that moment, everything shifts. It may try to return, but His truth is greater. The more I confess His Word, the more I see His Kingdom manifest here on earth.

During prayer one day I had a vision of a little girl receiving a small white box. When she opened it, a giant lion exploded out. It opened its mouth, yet it was silent, as if its roar had been stolen. The Lord spoke: “I am restoring her voice and bringing divine activation to My Word in her.” I looked again, and this time, the lion ROARED. No longer confined, it walked with confidence and authority, surveying the land with its head held high. Previously, the lion had been partly in the box, much like a genie in a bottle. But now, it had completely broken free. I saw it walking in slow, intentional steps—its movement reminiscent of the traditional lion’s walk—exuding confidence and assurance in its anointing and authority. Its head is held high, surveying the land— the land He had conquered.

The next day, in my quiet time, I asked the Holy Spirit, “What do you hear Jesus speaking? The response I heard was: Psalm 33.

“Let the godly sing for joy to the Lord. It is fitting for the pure to praise him. Praise the Lord with melodies on the lyre; make music for him on the ten-stringed harp. Sing a new song of praise to him. Play skillfully on the harp and sing with joy.”

The Holy Spirit stopped me at “sing a new song.” I asked, “What is this new song?” The phrase gripped me.

I checked the margin reference, which pointed to Revelation 5:9:

“And they sang a new song with these words: ‘You are worthy to take the SCROLL and break its seals and open it. For you were slaughtered, and your blood has ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have caused them to become a kingdom of priests for our God, and they will reign on the earth.’”

Some translations say, they are reigning on the earth.

That led me back to the beginning of the chapter, Revelation 5:

“Then I saw a scroll in the right hand of the one sitting on the throne. It had writing on the inside and outside and was sealed with seven seals. And I saw a strong angel who shouted with a loud voice, ‘Who is worthy to break the seals on the scroll and open it?’ But no one in heaven, on earth, or under the earth was able to open the scroll and read it. Then I began to weep bitterly because no one was found worthy to open the scroll and read it. But one of the twenty-four elders said to me, ‘Stop weeping! Look, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the heir to David’s throne, has won the victory. He is worthy to open the scroll and its seven seals.’”

At that moment, the lion in the passage leapt off the page, connecting back to my original vision. I believe that the message is for the Church as a whole—the young girl represents the Bride of Christ and the Lion is Jesus himself. I pray we will be marked by a fresh revelation of our authority in Christ because of the victory He has already won. He is calling us to reclaim the authority He has given us, the authority to declare His Word and see His Kingdom come. We have stolen the voice and authority of the Lord because of our unbelief in the promise of His Word. But Colossians 2:13-15 says, satan is DISARMED and DEFEATED. Jesus made public mockery of every spiritual ruler and authority when he triumphed over them by the cross. We are not waiting for this to happen—He is waiting for US; to take hold of the revelation that He has already done it and that we have permission to agree with it. This is the Gospel of Peace. Ephesians 6– we are called to STAND in the Gospel of Peace. Romans 16:20 (TPT) says, “the God of Peace will swiftly pound Satan to a pulp under your feet! And the wonderful favor of our Lord Jesus will surround you.” Haha—what an incredible image of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies declaring your victory when you STAND in the PEACE that IT IS FINISHED. All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Jesus (Matthew 28:18).

Returning to Psalm 33, immediately following the call to sing a new song, verse 4 declares:

“The word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything he does.”

His word and His action are synonymous. His word is His work. Verses 6-9 affirm this:

“The Lord merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born. He assigned the sea its boundaries and locked the ocean in vast reservoirs. Let the whole world fear the Lord, and let everyone stand in awe of him. For when he spoke, the world began! It appeared at his command.”

This truth ties back to Genesis: It is finished. When He created the world, it was finished. When He died on the cross, He paid for everything—it was finished. His word accomplishes what He declares.

I feel such conviction that He is calling us into this—believing His word, confessing it, and standing firm on His promises. I am certain the Lord has given you promises over your health, your journey, and your inheritance. Others may have spoken things over you, and you carry a history that I may not fully know, but I do know this: He has given you permission to stand on His promises and to declare them daily, full of faith, until you see them fulfilled.

Refuse to let past experiences dictate truth. His Word is Truth. I was challenged by something Bill Johnson said: Our faithfulness is measured by how we steward a promise. If I believe He has promised divine healing, then I must steward that promise well—not by speaking doubt or even what I see or feel in the flesh, but by declaring His Truth over my life with my words.

Hebrews 11 speaks of the great cloud of witnesses, those who believed even before they saw fulfillment. Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

“By faith, these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched flames, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight.”

THEY APPREHENDED THE PROMISE.

I believe fresh revelation of Jesus as the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, the Lord or Heavens Armies, will be what actives the end-time church to walk in the priestly authority and apprehend the divine inheritance to see His Kingdom come on Earth as it is in Heaven. Now let’s put His Word on our lips, in prophetic agreement, to apprehend every promise He has spoken! Lord, we repent for every idle and unfruitful word we have spoken! Cleanse our lips!

He is so good. So faithful. And I just feel a burning in my spirit to contend for His promises until they come to pass. I am fully convinced He has called me to herald this. It has brought me comfort, and I pray it brings you comfort too. His kindness towards you is a sure thing—nothing can separate you from His love. So today, I just want to speak this over you: You are not crazy for believing in His promise. You are not alone in this fight of faith. You are walking in a Kingdom reality that is more real than anything you can touch or see. Stand on what He has spoken. Declare it. Contend for it. And trust that in the moment He said it—it was already done.